Download & Print
November 30, 2023
Christmas Quirks
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
Presents on Christmas Eve or Morning? Feast on Ham or Turkey? Are Bloody Mary’s allowed before 10 am? We all have our weird little Christmas quirks. Here’s a sampling of ones I’m faced with on a yearly basis.
No Suprises
I’m an only child. I love presents! I love surprises! It’s all about me! I love it all so much that my dad would give me my own presents to wrap, and I’d never peek because it would ruin the surprise. And, luckily, My Future Husband likes to get and give presents as well. His only problem is he either must let me know what present is coming beforehand or assemble it right in front of me. The only surprise left around here is where’s that one present I ordered that still hasn’t shown up? Nope. If you want a surprise, don’t count on MFH to pull it off.
Wrapping Extravaganza
Dearly Departed Mom loved to shop and shower me and my dad with great, clever gifts. Her problem was deadlines. She’d start about 10 p.m. on Christmas Eve and wrap until everything was done perfectly including making bows. I’m a stick-on girl, myself. I’ve got stick-on bows almost as old as me. Anyway, on Christmas morning she was always sleep deprived and needed an intravenous coffee drip. Maybe that’s why I never drink coffee.
Perfectly Decorated Presents
My Big Half Sis always mails our package early so it can sit in its box and drive us crazy until Christmas morning. Her presents are wrapped in that fancy two-sided paper, have ribbons and bows plus a variety of stickers proclaiming that Christmas actually falls on Dec. 25. The reason I keep her gifts in the delivery box is because her decorations make my antique stick-on bows look like they are from the Red & Green Retirement Home for Stickless Bows. Sigh. Say, remember when bows had those plastic thumbtack thingies so you could poke a hole in the box? I recall the war injuries well.
Coordinating Colors
Very Best Friend, on the other hand, has a color obsession. Yes, she can recite all the 120 colors in the Crayola box with the sharpener on the back. Actually, it’s kind of scary. VBF has a large extended family, so she picks a color for each relative and then color coordinates their wrapping paper and bows. I know. She’s nuts. Being born on Halloween, my color is pumpkin. Not orange mind you, she hates orange though lately, she’s started liking terra cotta, which is a shade of orange in my book, so I win. I am gifted with hand-tied bows on beautiful patterns of coordinating paper. I somehow feel like I should keep all the wrapping paper and just wallpaper our guest bathroom. The room would be all coordinated, and I could decorate it with stick-on bows.
The Attack of the Christmas Cookies
The first time this happened, there was nearly a murder at the ranch. It was the day before Christmas, and I was in the kitchen doing a pre-guest deep clean. My Future Husband bound into the room and announced, “Oh boy! Time to make the Christmas Cookies!” Five hours and 20 dozen cookies of six varieties stood on display as his gift to anyone who still eats sugar. He was so pleased with himself; I placed a stick-on bow on the top of his balding head. I bet he’s glad it wasn’t the plastic poke a hole kind.
Why are you still reading this? Time to get on with your holiday quirks!
No Suprises
I’m an only child. I love presents! I love surprises! It’s all about me! I love it all so much that my dad would give me my own presents to wrap, and I’d never peek because it would ruin the surprise. And, luckily, My Future Husband likes to get and give presents as well. His only problem is he either must let me know what present is coming beforehand or assemble it right in front of me. The only surprise left around here is where’s that one present I ordered that still hasn’t shown up? Nope. If you want a surprise, don’t count on MFH to pull it off.
Wrapping Extravaganza
Dearly Departed Mom loved to shop and shower me and my dad with great, clever gifts. Her problem was deadlines. She’d start about 10 p.m. on Christmas Eve and wrap until everything was done perfectly including making bows. I’m a stick-on girl, myself. I’ve got stick-on bows almost as old as me. Anyway, on Christmas morning she was always sleep deprived and needed an intravenous coffee drip. Maybe that’s why I never drink coffee.
Perfectly Decorated Presents
My Big Half Sis always mails our package early so it can sit in its box and drive us crazy until Christmas morning. Her presents are wrapped in that fancy two-sided paper, have ribbons and bows plus a variety of stickers proclaiming that Christmas actually falls on Dec. 25. The reason I keep her gifts in the delivery box is because her decorations make my antique stick-on bows look like they are from the Red & Green Retirement Home for Stickless Bows. Sigh. Say, remember when bows had those plastic thumbtack thingies so you could poke a hole in the box? I recall the war injuries well.
Coordinating Colors
Very Best Friend, on the other hand, has a color obsession. Yes, she can recite all the 120 colors in the Crayola box with the sharpener on the back. Actually, it’s kind of scary. VBF has a large extended family, so she picks a color for each relative and then color coordinates their wrapping paper and bows. I know. She’s nuts. Being born on Halloween, my color is pumpkin. Not orange mind you, she hates orange though lately, she’s started liking terra cotta, which is a shade of orange in my book, so I win. I am gifted with hand-tied bows on beautiful patterns of coordinating paper. I somehow feel like I should keep all the wrapping paper and just wallpaper our guest bathroom. The room would be all coordinated, and I could decorate it with stick-on bows.
The Attack of the Christmas Cookies
The first time this happened, there was nearly a murder at the ranch. It was the day before Christmas, and I was in the kitchen doing a pre-guest deep clean. My Future Husband bound into the room and announced, “Oh boy! Time to make the Christmas Cookies!” Five hours and 20 dozen cookies of six varieties stood on display as his gift to anyone who still eats sugar. He was so pleased with himself; I placed a stick-on bow on the top of his balding head. I bet he’s glad it wasn’t the plastic poke a hole kind.
Why are you still reading this? Time to get on with your holiday quirks!