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February 8, 2025
What's Cooking?
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
Evidently, I’m of a “certain age,” as all my recipes aren’t very hip anymore. I don’t even know how to make an egg Jammy. Not that I want to. I can’t pronounce quinoa, much spell it. (Thanks Auto.) And can someone tell me what the heck Miso is anyway?
Because I don’t care about all the new “bowl recipes,” my trusty old recipe box and I decided to go old school to feel better. I immediately Googled “Weird Cooking Advice From the Past Hundred Years.” Yes, Jello, I’m talking to you.
Let’s start in the Roaring Twenties, shall we? Our friend Jell-O was thrust upon the scene in the 1920s. Evidently some company decided they needed to create food that jiggled as much as the Flappers. The “I must cook because I can’t work” ladies’ magazines had lovely, colorful, full-page ads touting the many uses of Jello-O. They suggested you whisk up some Jell-O Veggie Salad, Jello-O Cabbage Relish (got me) or, and this is my favorite, Jell-O Corned Beef Loaf. I think a Leprechaun just got his wings.
In the Thirties, evil was thrust upon the world by the Florida Grapefruit Council who let the big secret out – if you eat grapefruit, you’ll lose weight. Ah yes, from there sprang the most horrid curse of all, The Grapefruit Diet. Luckily, I’m too old to be forced to ever eat Grapefruit again as I’m on too many pills. That’s why I take them anyway – to avoid the grapefruit.
Flash Forward to the Forties where fruit had taken over the universe, which caused some strange creativity. For your next party, why not serve Ham Banana Rolls? Take pressed ham slices, slather them with mustard and wrap that mess around a banana, but make sure you peel it first. Then cover the whole thing with cheese sauce. I assume they mean Queso. Please don’t comment, “Sounds delish!” or you’ll find a banana peel in your future.
Ah, getting to my generation, the Boppin’ Fifties. Dinner parties were the thing. You know with the fancy drinks and a table spread with delicious Jello-O dishes and hors d’oeuvres. And presentation was, well, everything. For example, hard boiled eggs shaped like swans. Just how are you supposed to eat a swan, anyway?
In the Swinging Sixties, nobody wanted to stay home and cook, but if you did, I bet you whipped up a Country Pie. Hunts and Minute Made developed this one, featuring a meat crust. This dish sounds like you want a divorce. Tip of the decade: add peanut butter to your ground beef to make a protein-rich burger. This dish needs to hang out with that banana thing. And the swan.
Sadly, nothing much weird happened in the Seventies (I think it was Richard Simmon’s fault) but in the Eighties, the Microwave hit the market and the big trend was cooking your meat in the microwave. Wait, that didn’t sound right. Anyway, nothing better than shoe leather smothered in gravy.
The list stopped there, but I can add some more classics, only they aren’t in my neglected recipe box. The Nineties were for slamming something almost edible on the table like Chef Boyardee, Hamburger Helper, or Macaroni & Cheese. Why isn’t there an Overly Processed Dinner Council?
These days are just weird because some people only eat legumes, some eat gardens of veggies and some are bread free which would do me in. And eggs are Jammy. So am I after a couple of glasses of wine.
No matter what the trend or the dish, there’s still bacon. I bet it’s even good with Miso on it.
Because I don’t care about all the new “bowl recipes,” my trusty old recipe box and I decided to go old school to feel better. I immediately Googled “Weird Cooking Advice From the Past Hundred Years.” Yes, Jello, I’m talking to you.
Let’s start in the Roaring Twenties, shall we? Our friend Jell-O was thrust upon the scene in the 1920s. Evidently some company decided they needed to create food that jiggled as much as the Flappers. The “I must cook because I can’t work” ladies’ magazines had lovely, colorful, full-page ads touting the many uses of Jello-O. They suggested you whisk up some Jell-O Veggie Salad, Jello-O Cabbage Relish (got me) or, and this is my favorite, Jell-O Corned Beef Loaf. I think a Leprechaun just got his wings.
In the Thirties, evil was thrust upon the world by the Florida Grapefruit Council who let the big secret out – if you eat grapefruit, you’ll lose weight. Ah yes, from there sprang the most horrid curse of all, The Grapefruit Diet. Luckily, I’m too old to be forced to ever eat Grapefruit again as I’m on too many pills. That’s why I take them anyway – to avoid the grapefruit.
Flash Forward to the Forties where fruit had taken over the universe, which caused some strange creativity. For your next party, why not serve Ham Banana Rolls? Take pressed ham slices, slather them with mustard and wrap that mess around a banana, but make sure you peel it first. Then cover the whole thing with cheese sauce. I assume they mean Queso. Please don’t comment, “Sounds delish!” or you’ll find a banana peel in your future.
Ah, getting to my generation, the Boppin’ Fifties. Dinner parties were the thing. You know with the fancy drinks and a table spread with delicious Jello-O dishes and hors d’oeuvres. And presentation was, well, everything. For example, hard boiled eggs shaped like swans. Just how are you supposed to eat a swan, anyway?
In the Swinging Sixties, nobody wanted to stay home and cook, but if you did, I bet you whipped up a Country Pie. Hunts and Minute Made developed this one, featuring a meat crust. This dish sounds like you want a divorce. Tip of the decade: add peanut butter to your ground beef to make a protein-rich burger. This dish needs to hang out with that banana thing. And the swan.
Sadly, nothing much weird happened in the Seventies (I think it was Richard Simmon’s fault) but in the Eighties, the Microwave hit the market and the big trend was cooking your meat in the microwave. Wait, that didn’t sound right. Anyway, nothing better than shoe leather smothered in gravy.
The list stopped there, but I can add some more classics, only they aren’t in my neglected recipe box. The Nineties were for slamming something almost edible on the table like Chef Boyardee, Hamburger Helper, or Macaroni & Cheese. Why isn’t there an Overly Processed Dinner Council?
These days are just weird because some people only eat legumes, some eat gardens of veggies and some are bread free which would do me in. And eggs are Jammy. So am I after a couple of glasses of wine.
No matter what the trend or the dish, there’s still bacon. I bet it’s even good with Miso on it.