Download & Print
January 5, 2023
Nature is Terrifying
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
Sometimes we get all uppity around here and watch PBS shows where you can actually learn something, usually taught by some haughty British announcer. But there’s one show that always terrifies and depresses me – will the poor Wildebeest survive?
But before I go off on my tirade, let me say this: I appreciate everyone in this world who cares for any animal in any way, forever. If you don’t love some kind of critter, I’m pretty sure you have no heart. Phenomenal animal nonprofits deserve every dollar you give them, so keep donating, volunteering and saving those weaker than us.
Now back to the subject. The PBS show “Nature” is the bane of my existence. I am forced to watch this when there is nothing else on (streaming can be hard) and My Future Husband grabs the remote out of my hand. It always leads to that show which is pretty much a horror show to me.
“Nature” is like watching an hour long commercial for all the frozen, chained dogs and abused kittens from the crazy cat lady. Here’s the premise of the show:
Every living creature is going to live a hard life and only a lucky few will survive because, evidently, there’s a little evil thing called “natural selection.” I’m sure glad Dearly Demented Mom kept me safe rather than my suffering the horror of nature.
Plus, there’s the announcer with the saddest voice ever. He makes you worry every second of the show about the baby Marmaduke and if he can endure the very harsh winter out on his own, roaming for food and hopefully surviving the mountain lion who’s very hungry. Sigh.
And now there’s climate change, so every living thing is going to burn up by the end of the week. I can’t stand the show. Doesn’t matter which animal, bird or snake needs to survive – it’s so hard on all of them – maybe they never will.
I wish they’d do a show on Scorpions and Tarantulas, where we could watch them all die. Now that would be a great experience!
The particular episode that I was forced to watch was about Caribou and the plague of Mosquitos that was sure to take them all out if they couldn’t get to the grocery store to buy DEET. Life is no picnic.
“The mother knows the chicks will have to survive when she leaves them in two weeks.” (Send money now so the chicks will survive.) They don’t actually ask for money, but you keep expecting it to come because this is “Nature” and life is hard.
I usually have to leave the room and cry.
The last Nature show MFH forced me to watch was one where the White Butted Monkey, who was evidently so ugly, the rest of the pack moved on without him because of his white butt. He had to survive on rare eucalyptus leaves that were only on top of the giant hill, but there was a pack of outrageous Orangutangs he had to get through. Sigh.
Nope. Give me murder and mayhem over “Nature” any day. I’ll take a judge and a jury to convict the bad guy rather than watch an animal trying to avoid mosquito bites any day.
Next time MFH puts on a “Nature” show, this gal is going to find a good book and run away to a happy land where she must solve the murder mystery instead of trying to save a whole species. I figure if humans can survive after a “hold my beer” moment, we can survive anything.
But before I go off on my tirade, let me say this: I appreciate everyone in this world who cares for any animal in any way, forever. If you don’t love some kind of critter, I’m pretty sure you have no heart. Phenomenal animal nonprofits deserve every dollar you give them, so keep donating, volunteering and saving those weaker than us.
Now back to the subject. The PBS show “Nature” is the bane of my existence. I am forced to watch this when there is nothing else on (streaming can be hard) and My Future Husband grabs the remote out of my hand. It always leads to that show which is pretty much a horror show to me.
“Nature” is like watching an hour long commercial for all the frozen, chained dogs and abused kittens from the crazy cat lady. Here’s the premise of the show:
Every living creature is going to live a hard life and only a lucky few will survive because, evidently, there’s a little evil thing called “natural selection.” I’m sure glad Dearly Demented Mom kept me safe rather than my suffering the horror of nature.
Plus, there’s the announcer with the saddest voice ever. He makes you worry every second of the show about the baby Marmaduke and if he can endure the very harsh winter out on his own, roaming for food and hopefully surviving the mountain lion who’s very hungry. Sigh.
And now there’s climate change, so every living thing is going to burn up by the end of the week. I can’t stand the show. Doesn’t matter which animal, bird or snake needs to survive – it’s so hard on all of them – maybe they never will.
I wish they’d do a show on Scorpions and Tarantulas, where we could watch them all die. Now that would be a great experience!
The particular episode that I was forced to watch was about Caribou and the plague of Mosquitos that was sure to take them all out if they couldn’t get to the grocery store to buy DEET. Life is no picnic.
“The mother knows the chicks will have to survive when she leaves them in two weeks.” (Send money now so the chicks will survive.) They don’t actually ask for money, but you keep expecting it to come because this is “Nature” and life is hard.
I usually have to leave the room and cry.
The last Nature show MFH forced me to watch was one where the White Butted Monkey, who was evidently so ugly, the rest of the pack moved on without him because of his white butt. He had to survive on rare eucalyptus leaves that were only on top of the giant hill, but there was a pack of outrageous Orangutangs he had to get through. Sigh.
Nope. Give me murder and mayhem over “Nature” any day. I’ll take a judge and a jury to convict the bad guy rather than watch an animal trying to avoid mosquito bites any day.
Next time MFH puts on a “Nature” show, this gal is going to find a good book and run away to a happy land where she must solve the murder mystery instead of trying to save a whole species. I figure if humans can survive after a “hold my beer” moment, we can survive anything.