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June 19, 2023
It’s Too Hot To Be Funny
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
So, let’s go with some Random Thoughts. They collect in my brain when I’m stuck inside all day. Actually, it’s kinda fun when my head starts thinking weird stuff though it might just scare you. Luckily, My Future Husband just lets me roll without being grumpy. Hope you do, too.
Question for the World
Why do all drug-pushing commercials either have someone singing because this magic pill somehow makes them musical, or they move in happy slow motion because the drug makes them so relaxed, they just need to slowly stroll? It’s because of the side effects, isn’t it? “This drug will make you very joyful now, but you’re going to start dragging a leg.” Stop it.
Too Many Options
I simply wanted some Hair Mousse for my gray locs. So, when I was in the Medium City and searched through the Hair Care Product section, I was confronted with a billion choices though only a few were Hair Mousse. Evidently, it’s not a thing anymore. I find I now need a “helper” to get me through the hair care products. Kinda like Health Home Care.
Big, White Dogs
Why do all big, white dogs go outside clean and come back in all black? Is this a ranch phenomenon or is it a curse on my vacuum cleaner? Luckily the black dog always stays black, but you never know what’s lying under the surface of all that black. Yes, thanks for the rain, but can you send down an angel to clean my house?
Why Are Baby Blue Eyes So Cool?
All the country songs always talk about the girl the guy met who had Baby Blue Eyes. So what? My eyes are green and there was only one song about Green Eyes that I can remember. And what about people with beautiful brown eyes? Actually, I’m more concerned about crossed eyes than their color.
Fast and Furious
How many remakes of this movie must they make? I think they’re on Fast and Furious version 2,986. Here’s the story line: cars go fast, things blow up, hot chicks in shorts want to ride along and occasionally you have to crash over a bridge and end up in the water. Sigh. Whatever. At least they are better than World War II movies. We all know how those end.
Where’s My Chip?
I don’t want to keep a list of 327 passwords for different accounts. Just put a chip in my ear or give me a magic eye to zap my computer. At this point in my life, it’s not the eye zaps that are going to kill me.
My New Addiction
Yep, got one. It’s Eucalyptus oil. I sneeze and cough until I use my miracle diffuser filled with water and six drops of Eucalyptus oil. Magically, I can breathe again. Lately, I’ve been stalking the Noxzema aisle in the grocery store. I just want to smell Noxzema.
Why Does Everyone Need a Junk Drawer?
We’ve all got them. For little stuff that belongs nowhere else until you really need it. Then you have to fight the drawer just to find the right thing.
Folding Sheets
I’ve watched all the YouTube videos of how to fold a fitted sheet, some even involve laying on the ground with the sheet wrapped around you. I’ve decided I don’t care. Just wad it up, put it in the drawer and move on with your day. I’ve never heard of FBI Sheet Police, so I think I’ll be fine.
Heat makes me grumpy. Sorry.
Question for the World
Why do all drug-pushing commercials either have someone singing because this magic pill somehow makes them musical, or they move in happy slow motion because the drug makes them so relaxed, they just need to slowly stroll? It’s because of the side effects, isn’t it? “This drug will make you very joyful now, but you’re going to start dragging a leg.” Stop it.
Too Many Options
I simply wanted some Hair Mousse for my gray locs. So, when I was in the Medium City and searched through the Hair Care Product section, I was confronted with a billion choices though only a few were Hair Mousse. Evidently, it’s not a thing anymore. I find I now need a “helper” to get me through the hair care products. Kinda like Health Home Care.
Big, White Dogs
Why do all big, white dogs go outside clean and come back in all black? Is this a ranch phenomenon or is it a curse on my vacuum cleaner? Luckily the black dog always stays black, but you never know what’s lying under the surface of all that black. Yes, thanks for the rain, but can you send down an angel to clean my house?
Why Are Baby Blue Eyes So Cool?
All the country songs always talk about the girl the guy met who had Baby Blue Eyes. So what? My eyes are green and there was only one song about Green Eyes that I can remember. And what about people with beautiful brown eyes? Actually, I’m more concerned about crossed eyes than their color.
Fast and Furious
How many remakes of this movie must they make? I think they’re on Fast and Furious version 2,986. Here’s the story line: cars go fast, things blow up, hot chicks in shorts want to ride along and occasionally you have to crash over a bridge and end up in the water. Sigh. Whatever. At least they are better than World War II movies. We all know how those end.
Where’s My Chip?
I don’t want to keep a list of 327 passwords for different accounts. Just put a chip in my ear or give me a magic eye to zap my computer. At this point in my life, it’s not the eye zaps that are going to kill me.
My New Addiction
Yep, got one. It’s Eucalyptus oil. I sneeze and cough until I use my miracle diffuser filled with water and six drops of Eucalyptus oil. Magically, I can breathe again. Lately, I’ve been stalking the Noxzema aisle in the grocery store. I just want to smell Noxzema.
Why Does Everyone Need a Junk Drawer?
We’ve all got them. For little stuff that belongs nowhere else until you really need it. Then you have to fight the drawer just to find the right thing.
Folding Sheets
I’ve watched all the YouTube videos of how to fold a fitted sheet, some even involve laying on the ground with the sheet wrapped around you. I’ve decided I don’t care. Just wad it up, put it in the drawer and move on with your day. I’ve never heard of FBI Sheet Police, so I think I’ll be fine.
Heat makes me grumpy. Sorry.