August 11, 2023
A Hairy Day
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
Recently, it was International Cat Day, so everyone was posting a cute picture of their favorite feline on Facebook. You know what photo I posted of Sir Rodney? One where he had just shredded part of a brand new 12-roll pack (which equals 24 rolls) of toilet paper while I was putting up the groceries. With that in mind, I thought you might enjoy a Day in the Life of Rod.
5:30 a.m. Attack
He jumps on my toes, claws extended, so that I instantly jump out of bed screaming which means I can feed his Royal Highness.
6:00 a.m. Morning Training
The monster runs from one end of the house to the other at warp speed back and forth many times until he drops on the floor for a breather. I hold up my “10” sign.
6:30 a.m. Climb a Door Jam
Rod’s favorite is the one in the kitchen which allows him access to the top of the pantry and refrigerator so he can jump, flying across the room to land on the kitchen table. I call this the “Flying Wallendas Manuever.”
6:45 a.m. Rest
By rest, I mean jump in a box and start chewing the cardboard, so it gets all over the floor.
7:00 a.m. Family Breakfast
Jumps on the kitchen counter and “helps” me fix breakfast by always sitting in my way. Luckily, he hasn’t tried attacking the gas flame on the stove…yet.
7:30 a.m. The Great Outdoors
Rod heads to the Screen Porch, which is his outdoors since he’s an inside cat. Spends an hour stalking a bird and attacking it to death. And then I get my reward. Gee, thanks. Not.
8:30 a.m. Feed Me
Needs another snack.
9:00 a.m. Go and sit by the front door and cry if either dog or one of us has (horrors) gone outside into the great beyond. I think he’s saying, “Where are my subjects?”
10:00 a.m. Go to Six Flags
Actually, Rod really likes the “rollator ride.” If you’re over 65 and have never heard of a rollator, trust me, you will. Rod likes to sit on the seat and be driven around the house so he can survey his kingdom, I guess.
10:30 a.m. Shed
This is when he goes invisible and wanders around the house shedding all his fur.
11:00 a.m. Love
Rod loves Poco, the great Pyrenees, probably because of all that thick, white hair. He goes up to Poco and just sticks his head in the side of all that fur. Maybe he just wants a fur hat.
11:30 a.m. Feed Me
All this activity requires more food.
12:00 a.m. Midday Training
Run from one end of the house to the other at warp speed back many times until Rod drops on the floor for a breather. I hold up my “10” sign.
12:30 p.m. Attack
Poor, old Sammy the Siamese Terrorist. He gets the brunt of the wild child several times a day.
1:00 p.m. Housekeeping
This crazy black cat likes to help me while I change the sheets on the bed, meaning he either gets under the bottom sheet, causing a lump in the bed, or attacks the flat sheet for 20 minutes.
1:30 p.m. Go Grocery Shopping
Rod jumps in a HEB Freezer Bag and plays for a while until he falls asleep (hooray!) for the next four hours.
2:00 p.m. Sleep
This one’s for me, not Rod. I’m worn out from just half a day with him!
Love your furry friends, no matter how they act. Frankly, I think Rod needs Charm School.
5:30 a.m. Attack
He jumps on my toes, claws extended, so that I instantly jump out of bed screaming which means I can feed his Royal Highness.
6:00 a.m. Morning Training
The monster runs from one end of the house to the other at warp speed back and forth many times until he drops on the floor for a breather. I hold up my “10” sign.
6:30 a.m. Climb a Door Jam
Rod’s favorite is the one in the kitchen which allows him access to the top of the pantry and refrigerator so he can jump, flying across the room to land on the kitchen table. I call this the “Flying Wallendas Manuever.”
6:45 a.m. Rest
By rest, I mean jump in a box and start chewing the cardboard, so it gets all over the floor.
7:00 a.m. Family Breakfast
Jumps on the kitchen counter and “helps” me fix breakfast by always sitting in my way. Luckily, he hasn’t tried attacking the gas flame on the stove…yet.
7:30 a.m. The Great Outdoors
Rod heads to the Screen Porch, which is his outdoors since he’s an inside cat. Spends an hour stalking a bird and attacking it to death. And then I get my reward. Gee, thanks. Not.
8:30 a.m. Feed Me
Needs another snack.
9:00 a.m. Go and sit by the front door and cry if either dog or one of us has (horrors) gone outside into the great beyond. I think he’s saying, “Where are my subjects?”
10:00 a.m. Go to Six Flags
Actually, Rod really likes the “rollator ride.” If you’re over 65 and have never heard of a rollator, trust me, you will. Rod likes to sit on the seat and be driven around the house so he can survey his kingdom, I guess.
10:30 a.m. Shed
This is when he goes invisible and wanders around the house shedding all his fur.
11:00 a.m. Love
Rod loves Poco, the great Pyrenees, probably because of all that thick, white hair. He goes up to Poco and just sticks his head in the side of all that fur. Maybe he just wants a fur hat.
11:30 a.m. Feed Me
All this activity requires more food.
12:00 a.m. Midday Training
Run from one end of the house to the other at warp speed back many times until Rod drops on the floor for a breather. I hold up my “10” sign.
12:30 p.m. Attack
Poor, old Sammy the Siamese Terrorist. He gets the brunt of the wild child several times a day.
1:00 p.m. Housekeeping
This crazy black cat likes to help me while I change the sheets on the bed, meaning he either gets under the bottom sheet, causing a lump in the bed, or attacks the flat sheet for 20 minutes.
1:30 p.m. Go Grocery Shopping
Rod jumps in a HEB Freezer Bag and plays for a while until he falls asleep (hooray!) for the next four hours.
2:00 p.m. Sleep
This one’s for me, not Rod. I’m worn out from just half a day with him!
Love your furry friends, no matter how they act. Frankly, I think Rod needs Charm School.