August 21, 2023
Technical Ignorance
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
A couple of incidents this last week have convinced me that none of us 60 or over have any idea how to use an iPhone or Facebook. Not that we care, though hopefully if you know how to do something techno that none of your friends know, you are far superior, just like your 3-year-old grandson.
Case in point: this past week I posted one of those “Facebook Chain Letters.” You know the ones: “I am sending out this post to see if I really have any friends. The terror of the Heartbreak of Psoriasis is real because there are many Go Fund Me accounts talking about just that. Let’s see how many of my so-called friends will repost this important news.”
Personally, I feel this kind of post is a direct threat to society. I mean, what if we did wipe out the Heartbreak of Psoriasis? Doctors, drug companies, pharmacists and advertising agencies would all lose their jobs! And then we’d be stuck with them on Facebook. So, I refuse to repost these threats and I believe if I do, I will have the Chain Mail Curse. And nobody wants that.
To that end, I finally found a post that I could share. It talked about sarcastic friends and how, even worse than Psoriasis, is that if you don’t copy and share this post, people with think you hate bacon. And then the government wins and unicorns die. Now this is my kind of threat.
So, I copied and pasted this silly post. Do you know the reaction I got? Most people told me they didn’t know how to copy and paste. Come on people! If I couldn’t copy and paste, you’d never be able to read my weekly column. That would mean that there would be less laughter in the world, possibly affecting both baby goats and bacon.
Seriously, there must be a Facebook Hotline for the Oldies out there.
The other incident was with My Crazy Cousin. She lives in Big D, so we talk or text frequently. Lately, her iPhone has taken over our communications. On more than a few occasions, when I text her, it takes the text, but then that smarty pants says things like, “My Crazy Cousin has her phone in Silence Mode now. Evidently, she hates you and wishes you’d stop texting her. Instead, go eat some bacon so bluebirds won’t lose their ability to fly.”
My latest text reminded me that she was in Silent Mode. I sent her a text anyway (such a radical I am) and it announced under my text, “Sent Quietly.” Hey dude, I cannot be silenced. I am a former disc jockey, and I will talk to anyone who will listen. It’s a gift.
Odd thing is, she still gets all my texts and neither one of us has any idea how to make the threats go away. Where’s a 3-year-old when you need one?
Luckily, MCC has an extremely intelligent son who has two PHD’s in something. It’s probably because he’s been studying the effects of bacon on society. So, she called him. Know what this brilliant young man said? “Just go into your controls and turn everything off. It might help or, on the other hand, you may not be able to talk to anyone ever again and your GPS might go on strike.”
I propose to Apple that we need a “How to Use your Phone for Oldies” seminar immediately. I think even her son could use that.
Keep your brain sharp. Learn how to use cut and paste today.
Case in point: this past week I posted one of those “Facebook Chain Letters.” You know the ones: “I am sending out this post to see if I really have any friends. The terror of the Heartbreak of Psoriasis is real because there are many Go Fund Me accounts talking about just that. Let’s see how many of my so-called friends will repost this important news.”
Personally, I feel this kind of post is a direct threat to society. I mean, what if we did wipe out the Heartbreak of Psoriasis? Doctors, drug companies, pharmacists and advertising agencies would all lose their jobs! And then we’d be stuck with them on Facebook. So, I refuse to repost these threats and I believe if I do, I will have the Chain Mail Curse. And nobody wants that.
To that end, I finally found a post that I could share. It talked about sarcastic friends and how, even worse than Psoriasis, is that if you don’t copy and share this post, people with think you hate bacon. And then the government wins and unicorns die. Now this is my kind of threat.
So, I copied and pasted this silly post. Do you know the reaction I got? Most people told me they didn’t know how to copy and paste. Come on people! If I couldn’t copy and paste, you’d never be able to read my weekly column. That would mean that there would be less laughter in the world, possibly affecting both baby goats and bacon.
Seriously, there must be a Facebook Hotline for the Oldies out there.
The other incident was with My Crazy Cousin. She lives in Big D, so we talk or text frequently. Lately, her iPhone has taken over our communications. On more than a few occasions, when I text her, it takes the text, but then that smarty pants says things like, “My Crazy Cousin has her phone in Silence Mode now. Evidently, she hates you and wishes you’d stop texting her. Instead, go eat some bacon so bluebirds won’t lose their ability to fly.”
My latest text reminded me that she was in Silent Mode. I sent her a text anyway (such a radical I am) and it announced under my text, “Sent Quietly.” Hey dude, I cannot be silenced. I am a former disc jockey, and I will talk to anyone who will listen. It’s a gift.
Odd thing is, she still gets all my texts and neither one of us has any idea how to make the threats go away. Where’s a 3-year-old when you need one?
Luckily, MCC has an extremely intelligent son who has two PHD’s in something. It’s probably because he’s been studying the effects of bacon on society. So, she called him. Know what this brilliant young man said? “Just go into your controls and turn everything off. It might help or, on the other hand, you may not be able to talk to anyone ever again and your GPS might go on strike.”
I propose to Apple that we need a “How to Use your Phone for Oldies” seminar immediately. I think even her son could use that.
Keep your brain sharp. Learn how to use cut and paste today.