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September 18, 2023
What's in a Name?
By Mikie Baker
The Bandera Prophet
You either loved or hated what your parents named you, but I bet it was better than what George Forman did to his five boys – he named them all George. No stuttering over kids’ names in that family. Or Michael Jackson who named his son Blanket. That kid probably doesn’t like to get wet.
I’ve always had a “thing” for weird names, and I’d like to share a few of my favorites with you. As far as I know, other than me, these are mostly made up.
Let’s Start with Me (of course)
My given name is Michal. Stop laughing. It’s the “girl’s spelling of Michael,” or so claimed my mother. In the Bible, Michal was David’s wife. That’s David of David and Goliath fame. Dearly Demented Mom wasn’t that religious, she was just nuts. Luckily, my babysitter came up with Mikie as DDM didn’t know what to call me, so she just called my Baby. My dad wanted to name my Dotty Joe (a combo of their names), but then I would have been a Country & Western singer. Sigh.
The Best Friends
I must give credit where credit is due. These two names were made up by the Master of Comedy, George Carlin. I think they came off his first comedy album. These two classics are Tondalayo Breckenridge and Sylvia Pennybutt. On more than one occasion, I’ve been known to claim my name is Sylvia Pennybutt because I laugh every single time I say it.
That Gal at the Office
And she was just as buttoned up as the name implied. Of course, she did have a thing for Bond. James Bond. They hit it on the nose with Miss Moneypenny, but I think they blew it on James Bond’s name. He should have been called Brock Lee. They would have made great “green” friends.
Can I Have a Spot of Tea?
One evening, when Very Best Friend and I were hanging and drinking too much wine, we decided to watch King George VI on TV. Good movie, but by the time it was over, we were both speaking with an English accent. Somehow, after two hours of being Brit Brainwashed, it sort of took us over. We decided we would both be named “Gwendolyn” as in, “Gwendolyn, can I have another spot of tea?” “Why yes Gwendolyn, I think the wine bottle is still half full.” In fact, Gwendolyn seems like a fine British name to us.
A Cursed Name
I’ve never been a fan of Karaoke because, being a professional announcer, I was taught that only professionals should be allowed to use a microphone. I have no interest in drunk people who think they can sing, and get on stage to belt out an off-key version of Margaritaville. Personally, if I was announcing, I’d say, “And now presenting Carrie Oakey.”
The Truth Hurts
So, what got this column started? Recently, I heard the weirdest name ever on TV: Tanilay Hufhunga. Even spell check can’t stand this one. Frankly, if you have a last name of Hufhunga, the least your parents could do was to name you Kathy, Barbara, Sue; anything other than a moniker that sounds more like a serious disease than a person.
My New Holiday Favorite
But best of all is Aretha Holly. During the holiday season, she hangs around all over town.
This column is dedicated to all the Kathys, Barbaras, and Sues out there. You are the lucky ones.
I’ve always had a “thing” for weird names, and I’d like to share a few of my favorites with you. As far as I know, other than me, these are mostly made up.
Let’s Start with Me (of course)
My given name is Michal. Stop laughing. It’s the “girl’s spelling of Michael,” or so claimed my mother. In the Bible, Michal was David’s wife. That’s David of David and Goliath fame. Dearly Demented Mom wasn’t that religious, she was just nuts. Luckily, my babysitter came up with Mikie as DDM didn’t know what to call me, so she just called my Baby. My dad wanted to name my Dotty Joe (a combo of their names), but then I would have been a Country & Western singer. Sigh.
The Best Friends
I must give credit where credit is due. These two names were made up by the Master of Comedy, George Carlin. I think they came off his first comedy album. These two classics are Tondalayo Breckenridge and Sylvia Pennybutt. On more than one occasion, I’ve been known to claim my name is Sylvia Pennybutt because I laugh every single time I say it.
That Gal at the Office
And she was just as buttoned up as the name implied. Of course, she did have a thing for Bond. James Bond. They hit it on the nose with Miss Moneypenny, but I think they blew it on James Bond’s name. He should have been called Brock Lee. They would have made great “green” friends.
Can I Have a Spot of Tea?
One evening, when Very Best Friend and I were hanging and drinking too much wine, we decided to watch King George VI on TV. Good movie, but by the time it was over, we were both speaking with an English accent. Somehow, after two hours of being Brit Brainwashed, it sort of took us over. We decided we would both be named “Gwendolyn” as in, “Gwendolyn, can I have another spot of tea?” “Why yes Gwendolyn, I think the wine bottle is still half full.” In fact, Gwendolyn seems like a fine British name to us.
A Cursed Name
I’ve never been a fan of Karaoke because, being a professional announcer, I was taught that only professionals should be allowed to use a microphone. I have no interest in drunk people who think they can sing, and get on stage to belt out an off-key version of Margaritaville. Personally, if I was announcing, I’d say, “And now presenting Carrie Oakey.”
The Truth Hurts
So, what got this column started? Recently, I heard the weirdest name ever on TV: Tanilay Hufhunga. Even spell check can’t stand this one. Frankly, if you have a last name of Hufhunga, the least your parents could do was to name you Kathy, Barbara, Sue; anything other than a moniker that sounds more like a serious disease than a person.
My New Holiday Favorite
But best of all is Aretha Holly. During the holiday season, she hangs around all over town.
This column is dedicated to all the Kathys, Barbaras, and Sues out there. You are the lucky ones.